I’m very excited for my latest craft experiment, where I rhythmically slap sale rank oil paint onto a canvas and I see how long it takes to dry so that I can finally touch the paint textures I stare at so longingly in museums. 12 hours in, still wet. I am beginning to think this might take longer than I thought which you can imagine is quite a burden, as I am absolutely horned up to rub this paint.
You guys sound like you know what you’re talking about but I’m gonna touch it every twenty minutes just to be sure
I’ve put this canvas to age in the basement like a fine wine, along another recent masterpiece of mine “I put the paint on me hand and I slap the canvas like a bongo”
Paint slapped on 6/9, as of 6/22 (I mean actually it was a couple days ago but I didn’t fully check the dryness then so I can’t be sure):
It is rubbery feeling and the peaks of paint move when you flick them. The texture is not at ALL what I expected tbh and it makes me excited to try a different experiment, thick brush strokes, you know, those mad thicc ones that swirl real good
Here’s an additional shot with my coffee cup for a further sense of scale so people will understand that these canvases are small and therefore stop sending me asks about my supposedly gorilla sized hands, you bastards, you rotten bastards scared of the hands your minds gave me
I don’t know shit about art but isn’t this like a great example of art that pushes the boundaries of what art is? Like you’ve got your canvas with paint on it, but your reason for putting the paint there is totally different than why most people put paint on stuff. It’s like a study on texture or something.
Agreed, this is really cool and also I love the fact that you really wanted to touch some paint, so you just went out and bought a bunch of paint and made your own painting for touching purposes. That’s striking me as really really cool right now for reasons I can’t entirely articulate.
For reference: Really thick paint on a piece of art is called impasto. Another really fun way to do it is with a painting knife: you can make each stroke SUPER SMOOTH like cake icing, but with visible, touchable texture between the strokes.
More impasto:
art by Jan Ironside, who does THICK IMPASTO FLOWERS THAT I SO WANT TO TOUCH
You LITERALLY sat down to watch paint dry…
Museums should have stuff like this on display JUST so you can touch it. With a sign like, “Feel me up! I won’t alarm!”
make good art
Only thing about thick impasto is that the paint can get a bit sharp sometimes. Like, I’ve cut my hand on dried impasto paint because the paint stroke was that pointed. -.-;
Every reply on this post is delightful
sorry this is not relevant at all but ive seen this post many times and EVERY SINGLE TIME “ stop sending me asks about my supposedly gorilla sized hands, you bastards, you rotten bastards scared of the hands your minds gave me” makes me spiral ive never laughed so hard thank you
This entire thread is wonderful. What better reason to create art than pure human curiosity? 🥰
this terrified kitty won’t let go of the young man who found it under the rubble.
the reporter was wondering if animals associations would care for the animals situation in gaza and the man answers her: “they do not care about us; human beings, you think they care about animals?! they do not care about us. no one does.”
I live at the island airport religious-shrine military casino former-labor-camp mall where I work, and the Twink that does my Pap smear was kidnapped again so I can’t fulfill my annual wellness requirement for my overpriced ferengi medical insurance and will probably have to pay a space-credit penalty.
Made it to the word “Ferengi” just accepting that someone’s life is like this
Oh, no, no. She doesn’t do it to Bruce. She does it to the Joker.
They’re at a televised charity gala, making the rounds. All the usual glitz and glam. Miss Piggy has just left to powder her snout when the shooting starts, and cries to “get down on the ground now!” reverberate through the room. It’s almost half expected that the night is going to end in a hostage situation. It’s Gotham, for Christ’s sake. But no one’s expecting the Joker. He’s supposed to be in Arkham. The Bats just put him there. He shouldn’t be out already.
Bruce is stalling for time, trying to give the Boy Wonder and all his other kids time to get to them. He’s stammering, hands in the air, offering to pay whatever the Joker wants if he’ll let all these people go. Except the Joker doesn’t take ransoms. He barely takes prisoners. And he’s got a gun aimed squarely at Bruce Wayne’s forehead.
But Bruce keeps trying, inching forward on his knees, hands behind his head. Trying to figure out how much he can get away with in a room full of all these fucking cameras. He’s going to get shot. He already knows it. It’s just a question of whether he can duck and make sure it goes through his shoulder and not his head. Christ, he fucking hates guns.
“Come on,” Bruce says, trying his hardest to sound both scared and amenable. “Everyone has a price. Name yours.”
The Joker laughs, gesturing grandly with his free hand. “Tell you what, Brucie-boy, you’ll get a price when pigs fly!”
The sound of enraged hoofs striking off marble makes itself known. A deep, guttural squeal tears through the night. The kind that hunters of old knew the fear and keep at the end of a long spear. The Joker turns just in time to see Miss Piggy flying through the air. Eyes red. Tusks bared. Hand raised. “HIIIIIII-YA!”
Jim Gordon’s outside, preparing to launch a frontal assault, when the news comes in over the radio. He listens, shouldering the radio against his ear as he pulls a cigarette case out of his pocket. “To shreds, you say? What about the henchmen? To shreds, you say…”
Does this mean Bruce Wayne/Batman would be Kermit?
Oh, no. You gotta read the original post. Bruce Wayne is Miss Piggy and Kermit’s side piece. I don’t… it’s been a wild 24 hours.
Okay, but the best part of this is that Bruce Wayne’s inner thoughts are in Batman mode, which indicates that this is either
A) A running gag in The Muppets Take Gotham that Bruce Wayne might actually be Batman but the Muppets keep saving the day before he can change into costume (maybe a play on the matching butts?)
Or
B) Bruce Wayne brought Miss Piggy Lee and her puppeteer to the gala and the puppeteer’s “notice-me-not” skill is so powerful that literally nobody, not even Joker, noticed they were there.
Oh, but can you imagine the reaction of the puppeteer once they’re finally off shift if it’s the latter?
Miss Piggy’s Puppeteer (MPP): Holy shit, I think I just beat up the Joker? And his minions? And survived?? *starts hyperventilating as delayed reaction kicks in*
Other Puppeteer (OP): I saw that on the news, how did you do that?
MPP: Well, you know how we’re trained to always be “on” when we’ve got our puppets, right?
OP: Yeah, and?
MPP: And you know that Miss Piggy graduated from that charm-slash-martial arts school and holds a purple belt…
OP: Oh no…
MPP: And that she’s a real diva and can’t stand somebody getting more screen time than her…
OP, burying face in hands: oh no…
MPP: Oh yeah. One second she’s admiring herself in the mirror, the next second her “losing center stage” alarm goes off. The next thing I know, we’re in the middle of a crowd of clown-faced thugs and she’s “hiii-yah!"ing and taking out grown men five times her size while I’m just trying to keep up with her and wondering if I’m hallucinating that we just took out the Joker.
OP: Holy shit is right.
MPP: Yeah, my heart’s still racing when I realize how close I came to dying.
OP: What did the police do to you?
MPP, looking absolutely shattered while giving a single laugh: That’s… That’s the worst part. Our teachers would be so proud.
OP: Oh no, you mean?
MPP: Yeah, they thanked Miss Piggy for her assistance, got into a ten minute debate as to whether it was legal to bring a pig in for further questioning, and finally released her from the scene. One officer slipped her his number.
OP: And you?
MPP: They didn’t notice me at all. Afterwards, Bruce came over to thank her and kissed her hand and we continued into the gala like nothing had happened.
OP: And even he didn’t stop to check on you?
MPP, laughing brokenly and scrubbing a hand down their face while slowly starting to give a shaken smile: Not even a single flicker of an eyelid. I’ve done it. I can’t believe it. After so many years, I am finally one with The Pig.
OP, patting their back: Well at least there’s that to celebrate. Want to go get a drink?
I love this scene so much because as artists and creators of things we just never really know how the things we make will effect other people. What we do is sometimes hard and choosing to stick with it sometimes seems like SO much work with so little reward.
Primarily I make art for the personal joy I get from seeing a new thing exist that did not before, but the idea that my art could help, inspire, or bring joy to others too is really powerful. ♥
my favorite thing about people recommending Terry Prachett to me is they go “oh check out these books of his!” and you think, oh huh that sounds like a seperate series!
no it discworld, its always discworld
and everyone always suggest somewhere different to start except for the BEGINNING
theres a million discworld books and so many different series within the series from the knowledge i have
how on earth do you start reading these, it seems like you just have to get lucky as a child and pick up the first book with no preconceived notions and just keep going
do you skip some, do you read them in a different order, do you have to read all of them?? how do you read these books
someone give me a specific order i have no idea where to start
and i thought trying to figure out what order to watch the star wars movies in was hard
You can also just read them in publication order if you want. The people who tell you “oooh nooo you CANNOT start with the first few books you MUST start in the middle” are… incorrect. Absolutely no reason not to just start with The Colour of Magic, if you want simplicity.
People say stuff like this because Pratchett’s skill increased so much over the span of Discworld. Earlier books are a fun silly surface fantasy parody written by a pretty damn good author. Later books are a transcendental experience written by a master of both the English language and some of the most biting social commentary you will ever read. These people are panicking that if you start with the Colour of Magic, you won’t see how amazing Discworld is, because you’re starting with the worst one. Frankly I think “obey this ten-step process to know where to start in this series” scares away far more readers than “it starts pretty good but doesn’t get amazing til later”. Just reading the books in order is completely fine, if you want.
